Retardedness
by Guale
Summary: This is plain stupid. my first fic, please R
1. 5

Disclaimer: The author of this lousy fic doesn't own Inu Yasha, a bar, or anything else in   
  
this fic. And please excuse the crude humor, the author was sleep deprived and slightly   
  
high.  
  
Guale: No I wasn't!  
  
Inuyasha and the gang all got high and convinced Kagome to take them to her time. On   
  
the way to the Bone Eater's well they saw a hobo in a baboon skin.  
  
Shippo: what's that?  
  
Inu: a baboon?  
  
Sango: an ape?  
  
Shippo: a monkey?  
  
Miroku: no you're all wrong. It's a fuzzy terd!  
  
Everyone else except Inu: -_-'  
  
Inu: Oh  
  
Sango: *slaps Miroku*  
  
Kagome: No you baka's! It's Naraku.  
  
Inu: Shut up, wench.  
  
Miroku: I think she's right.  
  
Inu: I will avenge Kikyo! *unsheathes Tetsuiga* DIE YOU BASTARD!  
  
Miroku: *gets ready to remove prayer beads* let's kill him, Inuyasha!  
  
Inu: *charges forward and trips*  
  
Miroku: *hits self in head* baka *prayer beads fall off and he gets sucked up*  
  
Sango: *starts crying* Oh no, I never told him that I loved-  
  
Miroku: pops up behind Sango loved what?  
  
Sango: Uhh… cheese cake!  
  
Miroke: Really? Me too!  
  
Sango: really?  
  
Inu: *chops Naraku's head off* find the jewel shards, bitch!  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha that was a real baboon.  
  
Inu: oh, I knew that!  
  
Shippo: where are Sango and Miroku?  
  
Inu: who cares?  
  
~*~ Miroku and Sango ~*~  
  
Miroku: I sense a dark cloud above your tavern, I will be happy to rid you of it for some   
  
food and a place to stay the night.  
  
Barkeeper: Ok, it's coming out of the bathroom now.  
  
Sango: Huh?  
  
Sesshomaru: OH MY GOD, I Sesshomaru, am like so perfect!  
  
Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru got drunk.  
  
Miroku: Oh.  
  
Sesshomaru: Like I, Lord Sesshomaru, have perfect hai, and perfect eyes, and…  
  
* to be continued  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
So, how was it? Be nice, this was my first fic. 


	2. Chapter X

Miroku: Come on, Sesshomaru. Go into the cave ignore the huge yokia.  
  
Sesshomaru: but what if it ruins my perfectness?  
  
Miroku: it won't walks away  
  
Sango: so you got rid of him?  
  
Miroku: yup.  
  
Sango: how? Hears loud scream oh, never mind  
  
Inu, Kagome, &Shippo   
  
Inu: hurry up, wench.  
  
Kagome: sit boy!  
  
Inu: falls backward bitch.  
  
Kagome: I caught up, happy?  
  
Shippo: stop fighting you two.  
  
Naraku: ya! Stop fighting!  
  
Inu: ahh Naraku! unsheathes Tetsuiga DIE!  
  
Naraku: where?!?   
  
Inu: are you drunk? You're Naraku.  
  
Naraku: oh, then me and my Bud are gonna kill you!  
  
Kagome: your bud? oh, where did you get that beer?  
  
Naraku: it's my Bud! Now we destroy Inuyasha!  
  
Kagome: I will avenge Kikyo, bastard!  
  
Inu: uhh... that was my line.  
  
Kagome: oh, sorry.  
  
Naraku: humtikitikitiki hutikihum...  
  
Inu: the fuck? what's that spell? is he trying to kill me?  
  
Kagome: worse, he is trying to make you...  
  
Inu: what?  
  
Kagome: huh?  
  
Inu: make me what?!?  
  
Kagome: nani? Oh the spell! It's a gay spell.  
  
Inu: ya it is pretty gay, but what does it do.  
  
Kagome: IT MAKES YOU GAY!  
  
Inu: oh.  
  
Naraku:Humtiki humtiki humtiki eek gasp galazoo crakermonkey!  
  
Inu: Oh no! now i want to look... fabulous!  
  
Kagome: DIE NARAKU!  
  
Sango&Miroku   
  
Sango: Oh, Miroku, Umm  
  
to be contn'd 


	3. Chappie 18

Guale: sorry if this is bad, its almost midnight were I am and I haven't slept in days.Also it pains me to write the following about Inuyasha but for the sake of humor in soeones sick twisted vile evil mind it had to be done.  
  
Sango: this is the best cheese cake Ive ever had!  
  
Miroku: Thanks, its an old family recipe.  
  
Sango: Its great!  
  
Miroku: reaches down, grope grope  
  
Sango: SMACK  
  
Miroku: OW!  
  
Inu   
  
Inu: Naraku youre hot!  
  
Naraku: WOW! Really?  
  
Kag: kill him Inuyasha!  
  
Inu: Me, kill a hottie like him?  
  
Kag: SIT BOY!  
  
Inu: falls over What the fuck, what happened?  
  
Naraku: Gay Wad  
  
Inu: WHAT DID YOU SAY FAGGOT? WIND SCAR!  
  
Naraku: dies  
  
Kag: YAY! You killed him again!  
  
Inu: Jewel, now, bitch!  
  
Kag: But im hungry  
  
Shipp: Me too!  
  
Inu: stomach grumbles allright, ramen, now, wench!  
  
Kag:Cowers Were out of ramen, sorry  
  
Inu: roars WHAT?!?  
  
Kag: How about kitsune stu?  
  
Shipp: to self that's it, im outta here  
  
Inu: Not so fast brat grabs Shippou that sounds good.  
  
Kag: Ok ill get it ready puts some water and other soup crap in a pot and waits for it to boil ok, time for the main ingrediant  
  
Inu: tries to put a struggeling Shippou in the pot  
  
Shipp: WAIT! why dont we go to that tavern over there.  
  
Kag: oh i didnt see that  
  
Shipp: where you really gonna eat me?  
  
Kag: Uhh... Of course... not  
  
San & Mir  
  
Sango: lets get going  
  
Miroku: Ok  
  
Kag: bumps into Sango Oh, sorry, hey wait, Sango?  
  
Sango: Oh Kagome! nervous look Hi  
  
Kag: Where have you two been?  
  
Sango: uhh... here  
  
Miroku: Oh, greetings Lady Kagome, Inuyasha.  
  
Inu: Feh.  
  
Kagome: We came here to get something to eat.  
  
Shipp: Yeah, so they don't eat me!  
  
Miroku: huh? who said that?  
  
Kag: said what?  
  
Miroku: Oh probably nothing. Oh Inuyasha, by the way, we killed Sesshomaru for you.  
  
Kag: Awe, poor Fluffy!  
  
Inuyasha: Man, I wanted to kill him.  
  
Kag: stomach rumbles Are we gonna eat or not?  
  
Inu: Oh right. But first. takes out a joint and lites it  
  
Kag: Walks to the owner guy person keeeper Give us some food! takes out her bow and nocks an arrow  
  
Owner guy person keeper: Here gives them the food  
  
After eating  
  
Inu: Stolen food tastes so much better!  
  
Miroku: Now what?  
  
Kagome: I kno, i kno, pick me, me!  
  
Inu: yes?  
  
Kagome: TRUTH OR DARE!!!  
  
Sango: Yeah!  
  
Miroku: why not  
  
Kirara: Mew  
  
Shipp: Great idea, just one question, WHATS TRUTH OR DARE?  
  
Mwuahahahahahahacoughhahcough Yes, well, umm Ja Ne till next chappie! 


End file.
